Month: December 2019

Whatever Happened To Driver’s Ed?

Having now participated in my share of long-range holiday driving, I can say with complete confidence that, personally, I am ready for those driverless cars they keep promising are just down the road.

I mean, how much worse can a computer behind the wheel be than, say, all those dropouts from driver’s ed who are roaring down the road? These are some of the various types of hazards of the highway I’ve encountered recently:

  • The nitwits who persist in cruising down the road in the passing lane, oblivious to the 40 cars backed up behind them because, hey, what traffic? the road in front of me is completely clear and geez, don’t people know they shouldn’t pass on the right?
  • The road racers who zip in and out of traffic, changing lanes on a whim while cutting you off because, hey, I’m in a hurry and you’re not.
  • The texters  – you know who they are (I’m assuming you are not one) because they are easy to spot: driving about 5 mph below the speed limit, usually in the left lane (see above), weaving around, and generally acting like they had one cocktail too many because, OMG, like, knowing who Susie said she saw at the movies with Jennifer is far more important than avoiding a 20-car pileup on the interstate.
  • The chowderheads that don’t understand what a turn signal is. They either don’t use them at all, preferring to spring a surprise on any drivers behind them when they suddenly decide to turn, or start blinking halfway through the turn, although they probably just accidentally hit the turn signal stick while spinning the steering wheel.
  • And let’s not forget the paranoid drivers who inexplicably turn on their emergency flashers when it starts drizzling or they hit a patch of wispy fog. Perhaps these drivers feel they are doing the rest of us a useful service by providing a distraction from the weather.

And speaking of bad conditions, what’s up with all these commercials of cars zooming around in the snow as though they are slaloming down a ski slope? They show these cars spraying snow as they fishtail around curves going 70 mph, sliding across frozen lakes, and flying over snow-covered hills like some deranged snowboarder. As someone who has to drive on roads with actual snow, please don’t try those driving techniques around me. 

What’s next, since we are promoting poor driving habits: commercials showing how much fun it is to zip by a stopped school bus, drag race on a residential street, or drive around at night without your headlights on? 

Here’s a tip: any time you see a car commercial with fine print saying something to the effect of “professional driver on a closed course” you should consider why they are going to such ridiculous lengths to sell that particular vehicle.

Save driving.

Merry Christmas

‘Tis hard to be merry this holiday season
 When it seems that we lack any voice of reason.
 Chaos unfolding is the order of the day
 And it doesn’t seem like we have any say.

 The weather is frightful, the traffic is bad;
 The shopping is a disaster with no gifts to be had.
 Your body is filled with back aches and knee pain,
 And the carols you hear are driving you insane.

 It’s enough to make you unhappy and sad
 Or rage at everything because you’re so mad.
 But your life is your own, you decide how you feel,
 And how you treat others is a very big deal.

 There’s always someone who is worse off than you,
 So don’t wallow in pity and expect us to boohoo.
 Find a good cause or help someone in need;
 Few things make you feel better than doing a good deed.

 So get up and dance though you have two left feet;
 You’ll never find your groove if you stay in your seat.
 Sing a song really loud even if it’s way out of tune,
 ‘Cause the music will stop playing for us far too soon.

 Choose happiness now, it won’t just appear,
 And spread some of that joy to someone you hold dear.
 Keep warmth in your heart and make your soul kind,
 It will really do wonders for your own peace of mind.

 So slow down and enjoy a bit of holiday cheer,
 Make all of your giving heartfelt and sincere.
 Embrace the season and appreciate the fuss,
 And don’t forget to have a merry Christmas from us.

Adventures In Social Media

As one of the last sentient beings on the planet seemingly without a Facebook page, it was with some trepidation that I decided that I should finally join the crowd, so to speak.

While I have not had a Facebook page for a variety of reasons – chief among them being my wife forbade me since she rightly conjectured that I would post all sorts of inflammatory stuff, such as my opinions, like everyone else – I have been a lurker on my wife’s page, mainly to follow along with the escapades of family and friends.

When the marketing team for this blog recommended that I make my presence known on social media, I dutifully set about setting up a Facebook account. Perhaps shocked that I was at last joining, Facebook reported back that I would have to wait 24 hours to set up my page. Something about it being for my own security and Facebook is, of course, known far and wide as a paragon of on-line security.

After the waiting period was up, I was then informed that my account had been disabled. Possible reasons were that I might have violated one of their policies, a dubious proposition since I hadn’t even set up a page much less made an offensive post. Another option, I guess, might be they didn’t like the picture of myself that I had to submit, but then I wasn’t real wild about it either.

Following instructions, I reported that I felt I had been unfairly disabled and uploaded proof in the form of my driver’s license that I was not, in fact, a Russian troll (I get that someone named Smith would be an immediate red flag, but since when did Facebook have a problem with Russian trolls?)

A week later, I have yet to hear from the faceless Facebook folk and, alas, remain locked out of my account, so there will be no promotion of this blog on my non-existent page. I have since sent them what I admit is a rather pointedly critical message that some might construe to be somewhat sarcastic about the lack of response, so I suppose I will be locked out of Facebook for quite awhile.

I don’t know about you, but these ridiculously inane encounters with frustratingly inept representatives of mammoth institutions tend to irritate me no end. After the last non-communication with the crack Facebook team, who if they have an old-fashioned telephone or e-mail link are keeping it a secret, I decided to let go of my frustration and not let social media stress me out like it does everyone else.

So I turned my iPad off and turned some music on, in this case some Mavis Staples (and, yes, I let her take me there). I recommend you do this more often, too.

Welcome

A few notes about this blog.

First, welcome and thank you for taking the time to visit this site, which is rudimentary and inelegant because design and pizazz are not my strong suits. At some point it all may look nicer with more pictures and fancy graphics and cool links, but don’t get your hopes up.

Second, this blog, as the name implies, is about fun. F and I have been together a long time and we’ve always made it a point to try and have some fun along the way, even when lots of people were seemingly conspiring to ensure we wouldn’t.

One of them most important things we’ve learned about fun, however, is that you can’t take it for granted; it rarely just happens without making some effort. Like happiness, you have to choose to actively seek it out and embrace it; hence, the title of this blog. Because we’re still trying to find as much fun as we can.

I don’t intend this blog to be an actual guidebook for fun; you have to find yours if you can. But I do hope it will provide some fun, some amusement, some insight, some entertainment, and some income (just kidding).

The idea for this blog arose from dispatches to friends and family I wrote while traveling, so there may be some travel notes to go along with some social commentary, contemplations and random observations about the state of the human condition. I thought it unfair to subject those family and friends to continued assaults of unsolicited emails, so am now opting to let them voluntarily subject themselves to my musings.

Finally, since most of the writing I’ve done in my life was on a deadline, I can’t promise to adhere to any sort of a regular schedule of posting. I plan to be irregular if not capricious in my blogging, which means I’ll write something when I have something to say.

Thanks for listening so far.

T