I’ve been curious about this particular urge in some people to invoke their perceived right to not cover up and, therefore, be unprotected and expose themselves to others. Since my first career was as a newspaper reporter, I dusted off my old interviewing skills and set out to get to the bottom of this odd pursuit of freedom and liberty.
Herewith is the interview with one such freedom-loving couple:
“Excuse me, sir, ma’am. I see you seem to be protesting, after a fashion. Would you mind answering a few questions? Sort of a person-in-the-street type of thing.”
“Shoot.”
“I see that you, um, aren’t wearing any clothes. What’s that all about?”
“Well, it’s about our right to nudity.”
“Your right to nudity?”
“That’s right. We have a constitutional right to bear arms, so I think it’s a given that we can bare whatever else we want.”
“Um, sir, I don’t think the right to bear arms is the same thing as the right to bare your butt or in your case, ma’am, your chest.”
“What, haven’t you ever gone around without a shirt?”
“Well, sure, at the beach or around the house. But I’m a guy and…”
“Oh, so you believe in sex discrimination when it comes to clothing? It’s okay for you to go around shirtless but not me because I’m a woman?”
“Well, no. It’s just that, don’t you think you might offend people with your, um, freedom?”
“Anyone offended by us or how we look just needs to suck it up. People all the time get their panties in a wad because of sayings or symbols on T-shirts, or they think someone’s dress is too short, or their pants aren’t pulled up high enough. Can’t see how a birthday suit – which, by the way, we all came into the world in – should cause anyone offense.”
“But aren’t you concerned about your health?’
“Hey, things gotta breathe, you know?”
“I mean, aren’t you worried about picking, er, things up when you sit down and the like? And aren’t you concerned about the health of other people who, well, sit down after you’ve been sitting?”
“Look, there is no scientific evidence that wearing clothes is healthier than going naked, provided you put on sufficient sunscreen, especially in those places the sun don’t normally shine. We have a right to tan.”
“Yes, but, not wearing any clothes … it just seems other people….”
“You know what? We’re tired of people telling us what we can and cannot do. What we have to wear and where we have to wear it. Nowhere in the United States Constitution does it say we have to wear anything. It’s an abuse of personal liberties for you or the government to tell us that we have to wear something just because we want to go outside or into a store or to a restaurant. This is a matter of personal choice. Of personal freedom.”
“All right, point taken. But I see that, while you otherwise don’t have a stitch of clothes on, you both are wearing face masks.”
“C’mon, man, we’re naked, not stupid.”
