How Did I Become So Sensitive?

I always assumed that we toughened up as we got older, that our experiences throughout life, our ups and downs, would inure us to many of the deprivations and depravities of the world.

 Boy, was I wrong.

I find that the older I get, the more sensitive I’ve become to certain things. Oh, my skin is somewhat thicker than it used to be and I find myself not caring as much what people think of me or what they say about me, but then I’m not climbing an employment ladder anymore so I don’t have to worry about what co-workers think or what a boss wants me to do (I’ve lived with my current one long enough now that I intuitively know what’s expected of me).

But physical sensitivities are another matter. Take food, for instance. I used to have an iron stomach and could eat anything, any time, and in any amount with nary an ill effect – including unwanted pounds. Now, however, I have to consider the dire consequences before eating certain foods. Anything fried, for example, means long hours later with heartburn and sitting … well, you get the picture, and a pretty one it’s not. And, of course, all I have to do is think about a slice of pizza and I will gain weight. 

I also used to put a lot more hot sauce on the food I ate; the hotter the better. Now, not so much. I still like hot sauce, but I have to tone it down, much to my disappointment. This is not so much a stomach issue, though; I suspect it has more to do with the unfortunate discovery about a year ago that I was allergic to many types of lip balm, which is a story for another day.

My eyes, which have been shielded by lenses since the fifth grade, are also much more sensitive than they used to be, often burning and tearing up when outside, although I suppose that is to be expected given all the crap that has been pumped into the air through the years. But as a kid I could swim for hours in salty seas and chlorinated pools with my eyes wide open; now, goggles or masks are the order of the day.

And unlike others in my family growing up I did not suffer as a child from allergies, or hay fever as it was called back then. I thought this was simply the luck of the draw and that I would be immune to the effects of pollen and particulates and what have you for the rest of my life. So imagine my surprise a few years ago when I found myself suffering sinus headaches in the spring, sneezing throughout the summer, and having it feel like all those leaves falling in the fall we’re going straight up my nose.

Years ago when these symptoms started appearing I asked my doctor what was up and he casually mentioned that yes, you can develop allergies as you grow older. What?! Who knew? Isn’t this something they should warn you about  when you’re younger so you can fully appreciate the joy of breathing air filled with the smell of new-mown grass and jumping into those piles of leaves?

But perhaps the most acute sensitivity I find myself having these days is that I am increasingly sensitive to stupidity. This, naturally, can be attributed to the fact that stupidity seems to be running rampant a lot more than it used to, although looking back at some of my misspent youth I have to admit that a fair amount of stupidity existed back then as well.

I used to be a lot more tolerant of stupidity – unlike my wife, who never has suffered fools gladly – partly I think because at times during my journalistic career my job entailed talking to politicians, bureaucrats and others who required restraint when judging their mental acuity or competence. Nowadays it seems that stupidity and incompetence come much more naturally in people, although if you’ve spent much of your formative years glued to a tiny screen scrolling through funny pictures of cats and texting your BFF about the latest memes, whatever the hell they are, then you at least have an excuse, as lame as it might be.

I find myself irritated by stupidity because I think much of it is needless. Students could pay more attention in class, or schools could offer more pragmatic and practical curricula. People could pay more attention to what’s going on around them, or spend more time on self-improvement, or learn how to focus on sharing the road when driving a car, but that takes effort and is not as easy as scrolling through Facebook.

And too many businesses neglect to adequately train their employees in their basic functions, so they are at a loss to answer even a simple question and have to ask a supervisor why there still isn’t any toilet paper on the shelves.

Yes, it’s a cold, hard world out there and none of us are getting any younger. For myself, I’m just trying to adapt to the changes in how my body reacts to stuff as I get older, and I guess I’ll just have to work on trying to be more tolerant of the idiotic things people do that irritate me. 

On the other hand, that would require me to become more sensitive, so screw that.