So I wake up in the middle of the night and feel a little cool with just a thin sheet on me. But most of the covers are waaaaay down at the foot of the bed, so far down that they’re almost falling off because my feet got hot with all the extra weight on them so I kept kicking them off.
Now I want them back on, but I don’t want to have to sit up and reach down, fumbling about in the dark down at my feet with what are sure to be twisted and tangled covers by now since I’ve been thrashing around half the night.
Plus, everyone knows that if you sit up in bed or do anything that simulates being awake then you are doomed to be wide awake for at least an hour. (Just like everyone knows that if you toss the covers off and leave anything more than an arm or leg exposed to the dark night then … well, I don’t know what happens, but probably something bad.)
It’s not like when you wake up just enough to turn over because one whole side of your body is numb while the other is creaking with aches and pains, so you sorta pretend you’re still mostly asleep so you don’t start thinking about the things you didn’t do the previous day or the things you have to do the next day or, even worse, you really gotta go pee.
So there the covers are, down at what might as well be the ends of the earth for all the good they are doing. Is it really worth the effort? Sigh. Yes, all right, here we go. Okay, here’s some corner of some type of cover, but of course it’s snagged on the edge of the bed. I’ll just give it a yank. Ooops, I sure hope F over there doesn’t need any of these. Well, she’s always complaining about how hot she is, so I’m really just doing her a favor by keeping these covers out of her way.
There. Nice and snug now. Back to sleep. I really don’t understand why someone doesn’t invent a device that pulls the covers up and down on the bed with a touch of a button. We have phones that work practically everywhere on the planet (although the signal does leave a lot to be desired at my house), but no way to automatically pull up and retract your dang covers on your bed. Surely Einstein or Edison had the same problems at night; couldn’t they have spared a sleepless night or two to invent something?
Whatever. The deed is done now. The covers are up around my neck, my head is on the pillow, dreamland beckons, and all is right with the world.
Except now I’m getting kinda warm.