One thing people never compliment us on when visiting our house are the countertops in our kitchen.
They are not trendy, they are not cool (except in winter), they are not fashionable, and they are not expensive. What they are is Formica, or some such laminated product.
The beauty of them – to me – is I don’t have to seal the surface, or buy something special to clean them, or worry about spilling something on them. Oops, I dripped a bit of battery acid on them; I’ll just grab a paper towel and wipe that right up, maybe spray a little Windex on there.
While no one admires the beauty of our countertops – okay, probably for good reason – I have been asked why I don’t rip them out and put in some granite ones. The answer is, well, I have better things to spend ridiculous amounts of money on. Also, because they are functional and sometimes function champions form. I don’t need to see some artistically stunning stuff while I’m in the kitchen busy, you know, cooking; if I want to see great art I can go in the living room and look at F’s quilts on the walls in there.
Besides, why would I want a countertop that you could find in the Flintstones’ house? Sure, nothing screams ‘50s and ’60s style more than Formica, but granite is downright Stone Age.
Obviously the stone and rock industry has some pretty good marketing people, but I trace the rise in popularity of granite countertops to the proliferation of all those TV shows about houses: how to renovate them, how to buy and sell them, how to redesign them, and how to keep up with the latest fad like painting everything in a room a nice monochromatic white so that it looks like you’re living in an igloo.
But I’m kind of tired of watching people consider buying a house and react in abject horror to find no granite in sight; they’re like “Oh my goodness, I can do with the toilets that don’t flush and the holes in the roof and – gulp! – no hardwood floors, but no massive slab of stone in the kitchen is just too much to take!”
And like other fads and trends, you have to ask yourself what’s next. Crystal countertops? Hardened beeswax? Or how about some nice petrified wood?
Having said this, I’m not completely indisposed toward granite countertops; I’ve seen many that were absolutely gorgeous. If I were to buy a house that had them I certainly wouldn’t rip them out and replace them with Formica.
Unless, of course, retro is back yet again and that’s the new style.