I used to be a much more cynical person, a trait that sort of went hand in hand with being a working journalist, when you were constantly exposed to the sordid underbelly of the human condition with such things as politics, crime and punishment, corruption, and ghastly school board meetings. (I know what some of you are thinking: Didn’t you mostly ply your trade as a journalist in a small town, so how bad could it be? Yes, I did, and yes, small towns have sordid underbellies, too. I could tell you stories about underbellies, sordid and otherwise, but now is not the time.)
When I stopped being a journalist, my cynicism eased up, and when I stopped working I transitioned to being more of an optimist about the human condition, although some people – particularly the one I live with – would perhaps disagree. (And, yes, some of this can be attributed to the fact that I haven’t been to a school board meeting in a long time.)
But, man, it’s hard not to be a pessimist now. This has not been a good year. In fact, it has been a year so far plagued with, well, plagues.
We all are aware, obviously, of the coronavirus that has reached pandemic stage across the world. But have you noticed all the other, um, scourges that are occurring on a regular basis? Let’s review:
First there is the phenomenon I’ll call Critters Gone Crazy. A couple of weeks ago, news came out about an invasive bug species nicknamed “murder hornets” that slaughters honeybees and can be deadly to humans. Then came the 17-year locusts about to ravage the the countryside of Virginia and North Carolina. Now there are giant gypsy moths set to “cause serious, widespread damage to our country’s landscape and natural resources,” according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture.
And, of course, the stink bugs are still plaguing us here at our house.
Then there are the rampantly obtuse politicians, who admittedly are sometimes indistinguishable from annoying pestilential insects. Many lawmakers are openly encouraging people to break the law by disregarding rules and guidelines designed to keep us all safe. Leaders who we hope will set an example for us refuse to wear masks, congregate in crowds, somehow seem to get haircuts and, of course, say amazingly stupid shit.
Here’s former Republican Gov. Chris Christie of New Jersey urging an end to stay-at-home orders and, clearly, confusing the party of life with being the life of the party: “Of course, everybody wants to save every life they can – but the question is, towards what end, ultimately?”
Alex Azar, the U.S. secretary of health and human services, said this in casually dismissing concerns about Americans who flout the federal government’s bank robbery laws – oops, I mean social distancing guidelines: “That’s part of the freedom that we have here in America.”
Then there’s this: “When you test, you have a case. When you test, you find something is wrong with people. If we didn’t do any testing, we would have very few cases.”
I don’t think I have to tell you which politician said that.
Which brings us to the appallingly stupid members of the public. These are the people who won’t just take prudent precautions not to sicken others, but will shoot, push, and punch others or tote around automatic weapons in protest of their right to spread a deadly disease. Alas, when those bozos get sick, at-risk health-care professionals don’t have the freedom not to treat them.
Then there are those nincompoops who see this crisis as an opportunity to take advantage of the times. Fortunately, karma is sometimes still a bitch, as witnessed by the witless woman who entered a closed-for-coronavirus Yellowstone Park and promptly fell into a hot spring while taking a picture.
Finally, there’s the weather. Need I point out that hurricane season has already begun with our first tropical storm. We’ve already had killer tornados plus some winter storms in spring, and I’m sure we can look forward to the usual allotment of floods, fires, droughts, cataclysmic storms and other assorted raging, relentless meteorological phenomenon that seems to be our new normal.
Yes, 2020 may very well go down as the Year of the Plagues, plural. Oh, and speaking of plagues, have I mentioned this is an election year?